Her fans know her greatness though, and they leave praises to her writing genius in the reviews section. Critics will be flamed. Flamers will be flamed. People who innocently point out discrepancies in her knowledge of anatomy and spelling will be CRUSHED.

“Don't let most of these f*ckers get to you. Most of them probably wouldn't have put what they wrote if they didn't read the other flames. You are talented.”


“Booya! excellent!! dont worry about those flamers... all a bunch of homophobics is all. I was very suprised at how well you described rufus' *act* ...very good.I'd like to see more of your stories as I was really suprised at your writing style, interesting.Oh yes, to that ignorant prick who wrote a review here, just because she might be a chick dont mean she cant write proper male characters. Dont bother reviewing if you have nothing intelligent to say, you only piss everyone else off. Well, christine you did a good job, go ruffy! (*huggles her ruffy plushie*) beehee. ^o^*”


“Christine, muy bonito! (Or something.) Thanks for the great fic. You are so sweet, writing this to share with us all. And don't mind the flamers. We all know they're latent homosexuals anyway. ^_~”


Never mind that the fic in question didn't have any kind of homosexual pairing within, unless you count Rufus shoving a dildo up his own asshole “yaoi.” In any case, if you're really, really lucky, the master ficstress will tell you off herself.

“No, I am not going to be a porn star. I'm going to be either a famous artist or musician thank you, and have a good carreer in medical science jump started with good grades. Another thing, I reached puberty when I was 10. Thank you! AT LEAST I'm mature about this sort of thing. Despite what you all think I am no slut. It's just hormones. Blah, well anway, it's all your faults really for reading it. Told you it was silly. Well anyway, chapter 2 will be erm...put up soon...blah! :)”


“* growls * Hey dude, I worked HARD on this fic. If you didn't like something in it then FINE! I tried my best to keep him in character, and I believe I did a good job for this sort of situation. So yeah. I'd like an apology from you! * snorts *”


It's good to know that spending enough time and effort on incoherent sex scenes between copyrighted characters shields you from being criticised! She's sure to rocket her budding career as a renaissance woman to the stratosphere by browbeating everyone into accepting her masterful works of Sephiroth buttfucking. And as for her budding medical career, I'll let the next passage will do the talking there.

“He could feel the heat inside of him burning, begging him to let it erupt. The pace quickened, as his palm gently rubbed against his prostate as he bucked his hips, letting his hand get a looser grip, his cock sliding in and out of it with ease. The head of the dildo hit his sweet spot, as a large quantity of pre-cum dribbled down his hand, a sweet scent filling the air. “I....I...s- soon!” He moaned aloud, feeling the burning inside of him becoming more intense, his balls trembling with need.”



I would expect hot gay love to be much more sweaty and messy
Christine is also a budding poet. The true tragedy is that I'm sure these lyrical treasures, worthy to be placed side-by-side with Shakespeare's Sonnets - a fan told her it sounded like Shakespeare, so it must be true - will most probably be lost, tossed away carelessly by some unfeeling philistine of a History 101 teacher when he finds her writing them in the middle of class. Stupid adults. They can't understand her pain.

“Injustice is served to a fragile life
Insanity is what they see
Why do people constantly accuse
And the fingers point to me
What am I doing that is so wrong
When all I do is express
Within my soul, my heart, my mind, and body
Is everything I confess.”


When not CRAAAWWLING IN HER SKINNNN, she writes a genre I was not aware even existed until I stumbled upon her oeuvre of work. Self-insertion poetry, while not widely popular right now, is destined to become the Next Big Thing, and Christine is the innovator.

To Sephiroth :
You're amazing, a real treasure
The biggest trophy for my wall
I'm proud of you, you make me smile
Obeying my beck and call
You couldn't love until I came
A heart of coldest ice
I weilded the flame, melted it down
My thoughts a small sacrifice.


These achievements, no matter how significant, are paled by one piece in particular. The works of Joyce, Tolkien, and Burroughs combined are barely hastily-scribbled post-it notes against this wall of gorgeous text. This story is entitled...“My Crowd.”

In it a character from the video game Dead Or Alive gets raped by a your typical everyday group of hairy men. If they were bishounens, it would be different, but they aren't, so this is tragic for the character. And for us, exploring this little niche of Christine's tenuous state of mind is fairly upsetting to us, as well.

“PERVERT!” She screamed, slapping him hard accross the face. The man backed off.
“Ohhh...so you wanna play rough do you missy? GET HER BOYS!!” He whistled as about four other men appeared from the other side of her truck. The men are described as below.

Man no 1) A scruffy looking man in his mid twenties. Shirt: A black turtle neck, sleeveless. Pants: Silver pleather Face: Long black hair down to the small of his back, bright baby blue eyes. Shoes: Worn nike sneakers

Man no 2) Fat, old, and a former biker. Around his mid thirties. Shirt: A worn grey t-shirt with a faded “ Labatt Blue ” logo on the front. Pants: Black denim, worn out at the knees. Face: Chunky with an obvious double chin. Greying brownish hair, moussed back. Greasy, looks like it hasn't been washed in a long time. Coke bottle glasses, ugly moustache, and brown eyes.

Man no 3) Looks really young. Around 21 years old. Shirt: None. Hairless, muscular upper torso, double nipple rings. Pants: Black shorts with ripped left pocket. Face: Thin and bony, stubble on his chin. Deep green eyes, short brown hair in a buzz cut. Dragon tattoo starting at his left shoulder and ending at his upper left cheek. Shoes: Long knee high socks, rolled down over the boot. Hiking boots.

Man no 4) Older than the rest. Seems to be in his late fourties, basic pervert. Shirt: Red muscle shirt. Pants: Faded jeans. Face: Thin, long beard, messily cut. Grey eyes, long hair tied in a ponytail, down to shoulders. Shoes: Worn out army boots. Note: Tatoo that says “ mom ” on upper right shoulder.”



MY EYES! THEY BURN!
I'm wishing I was making this up, but that's exactly how it'd written in the story; I have not changed a word. I think my favorite has to be the “Basic Pervert” model rapist - how is someone a “basic pervert?” Has he not graduated to “advanced perversion” yet? Or does Christine come across “basic perverts” with such alarming regularity that she can define a a common, mass-production, stock pervert? Does he look like Torgo? The two guys from the “Up Your Pavement” Monty Python sketch? Her dad? The family priest? I'm confused.

Never fear, however, there is a happy ending!! The next morning...

“It's alright Tina, you don't have to answer. I know what you've gone through. The boys were caught and arrested, and are currently doing 15 years in the county jailyard.” He chuckled, before quickly regaining his seriousness.”


FASTEST. TRIAL. EVER.

I could go on and on and on about my love for Christine, but it would take up several pages and days of my life if I listed every reason why. I will leave you, then, with a final quote, from the self-insertion FFX Christine/Tidus lemon, “Teach Me How To Blitz!”:

“I-I can't hold it any longer..” I panted, moaning wildly with each thrust. Tidus's grunts got louder and louder, a look of extreeme pleasure on his face.
“Neither ...unghh..can I!!” He almost shouted, his climax quickly reaching it's peak. Tidus's body shook and rocked with pleasure, his back beginning to arch.

“T-TIDUS! I...I...AAAAHHNN!!” I shot out my last moan, as loudly as I could. My orgasm quaked and erupted throughout my body. A loud groan joined in mine, as Tidus's body began to quiver against mine. His hot seed emptied inside of me, coating my walls like a thick paint.”


God bless you, Christine. You make me proud to be a woman, and I love you.

Note: NC sometimes confuses the phrase “I love you” with “I want to smash your kneecaps in slowly with a rusty ballpeen hammer.” Simple mistake, but might be a good thing to keep in mind if she's showering you with affection while carrying a shovel and/or power drill.



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"Hentai is the Otaku's Gateway to Boundless Pleasure" ~ Ancient Proverb