Appendix: Responses

Figure J: I thought Tractatus was worthwhile but god what the fuck is this dude's damage?
“I will leave the analyses to those more capable. But it’s worth observing that these notes, if genuine, would have to have been written just after an infamous episode which the Cambridge community at the time dubbed ‘Witty’s Holiday.’ The incident is still well-known at the university. One day during March of 1939 Wittgenstein arrived to teach class very late and extremely drunk. He reportedly spent the entire period mumbling to himself in German and breaking into sobs, occasionally shouting exclamations like ‘but he was so cute!!’ and ‘who could have resisted that habit!!’ Wittgenstein remained in low spirits for the rest of the week, and refused to explain himself afterwards. It seems to me that this incident must be connected to the sexuality notes, but how this is so remains to be fully investigated.”


“When one speaks of penises propositionally - of this dick resembling that dick, or this dick in contrast to that dick - one presupposes that the epistemological content of dicks is merely a matter of sense and reference. I will briefly sketch out the manner in which Wittgenstein's position, for all of its posturing and promise to go beyond the dick sense-reference model, is essentially tantamount to Frege's theory of dicks. The ‘Sense-Reference Dick Knowability’ (cf. Allan, ‘A New Theory of Dick Observability’ in Formal Cockological Research v. 51 no. 1) position essentially states that a sensation of dickliness is delivered to the cognitive faculties by way of sensory organs, from which a judgment is made by way of a "dick-understanding" faculty (for the classical formulation cf. Frege, Sense and Dicksation, 148-150). This model was proposed by Frege as early as his ‘Fucktion and Cockcept,’ and in practice Wittgenstein’s theory is no different. One can see why it was delegated to the manuscript bin; it is ultimately an unoriginal contribution to the field of cocklosophy.”

-P. Garrison Hernes

Figure K: You fucks aren't fooling me this time. I fucking quit!
“The cock-Being of the cock speaks out of attentioning as the essential shooting-forth of the cock in the coming into the truth of Being thought metadickically. The word ‘cock’ originally means ‘to stand up’ - as in the saying, to ‘cock one’s ear.’ Standing means to push oneself up to attention. Thought most essentially, it means to shoot forth into Being, that is to say, the tightness of Being. The history of Europe, beginning with its origin in Greek erections, has more fundamentally been the history of this attentioning-shooting. In our time, however, metadickics has reached its end in the collapsing-withdrawal of cocks from Being. We must await a new coming.”

-Marty H.

“Nothing in these papers surprises me. I’ve been telling people as much about Lusty Ludwig for years; he got into a fistfight with Bertrand Russell once because they disagreed on the best translation of ‘shota’ from the original German. That lolicon Frege, that didn’t surprise me, but Wittgenstein was supposed to be one of a new breed of pure loligicians. He corrupted the entire school of analytical philosophy with his appetites. The only reason Trinity College Host Club exists is that Wittgenstein used his inheritance to found it. By 1946 his infatuation with the ‘little devil type’ was so pronounced he assaulted an Austrian schoolboy he was teaching because of the student’s refusal to wear a dress while in class. He should have just come to terms with it instead of inventing a philosophical system to prove he wasn’t a vast sexual deviant.”

-Very Metal

Figure L: They told me I had a promising future in academia, and I'm writing captions for gay anime porn.

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