Two weeks passed and Vincent couldn’t have stopped thinking about Cid. Maybe in some way he hoped that Cid will contact him. But Cid hadn’t done this.
“I was right that he was not interested in me.” He said to himself “How could I even think that...” He cut when the instant feeling of sickness overtook him. He went to the toilet immidiatly and vomitted. 'That was gross.' He thought. 'But why...' He felt sick again and repeated an unpleasent activity. 'Maybe it’s just a food?' He wasn’t suppoused to be sick but maybe it was possible. Afterall, he was still a human... in some way.

“I was right. You can check it if you want a better proof.” He gave Cid the results. The blond didn’t have to read them. He believed him. “I suppouse you don’t want this child but don’t worry. I had no intention to force you into anything. I just wanted you to know.” With that Vincent just left the room.


Now imagine, if you will, that you are Cid Highwind, chain-smoking, tough-talking ace pilot and the world’s only astronaut. You make Maurice Minnifield look like Paul Lynde. The author has already gotten you drunk and made you fuck a vampire up the ass in Chapter 1. Now Angsty McSadpants is coming to you with claims of paternity. Do you:

A.) Laugh hysterically at the crazy son of a bitch, then grind your cig out on his pasty forehead. Introduce him to Yuffie and get the hell outta Dodge.

B.) Lacking a coathanger, shove the Venus Gospel up his pooper just to be cautious. Good news of love indeed.

C.) Give him HUGGLEZ and reassurances and possibly a blowjob and commit the rest of your life to taking care of him and his Anus Freakbaby.

Cid was dumbstrucked. It was true that he wasn’t planning to have a family, but he couldn’t leave Vincent like that, could he? He run after him.
“Vincent, wait! I will not let you be on your own! What kind of person you think I am? Please, stay with me!”
“What?” Vincent stopped.
“You heard me, I want you to stay with me. It’s also my child, afterall. We should live together. I will take care of you, I promise. I will take care of you both.”
Vincent was in shock. None have ever told him something like this.
“You... you really mean it?”
“Yes, I want this child.”
“I want it, too. I hope it won’t be like... that time.” Vincent shivered.


Of course.

Step Two: How


Sora didn't realize it at the time, but the father was Donald. The manduck assbaby he birthed would live a short, miserable life before committing suicide on its fourteenth birthday.
Moving right along, we address possibly the most pressing question of all: how, if at all, is EdnRoyRimjobGrrl6679 going to explain away the fact that there is a boy carrying around a zygote in his soft, supple prostate? If the victim in question is Vincent Valentine you can generally just make the excuse that Hojo was a sick fucker who thought it would be hilarious to stick a womb somewhere inside Vinnie-Chan’s mopey gut after getting drunk and watching the hit film Junior one too many times. Vincent’s just lucky that Lucrecia hid his copy of Bangkok Ladyboys some months earlier, that’s all I can say. Theories abound, and are as varied and colourful and completely fucking bonkers as the varied otherkin extra-dimensional personalities of the writers.

•Scientific Buggery

“I won’t kill you, Vincent.” Once he said to me “You are special for me. And I’ll give you an abillity which no other men have.” I was just watching him. I really didn’t care what he was saying “I need you for the another experiment, Vincent. I will make you a first man who will bear a child.” Actually it didn’t suprised me much. I saw so many things in his lab that his ideas where just normal for me.
He did with me what he wanted to do, and of course I couldn’t protest. But this time was different. At last, from a very long time, I saw a little ray of hope that maybe there is some meaning of my existance. I was feeling a new life growing inside me and indeed I felt special in some way. I felt nearly a... human. Even Hojo was treating me better. I know it wasn’t becouse of me or a child. He didn’t want to endanger his project so he treated me like I had been made from glass. But it really wasn’t important for me as long as I could prosper better. And as long as I had purpose to live.
“I think he resemblace me a bit.” Said Hojo holding a newborn.
“Can I... can I hold him...” My voice was barely a wisper. I was exhausted after a labour, and my gown was soaked with sweat.
“No, Vincent. I’m afraid you’ve already fulfilled your duty.“
“What? You... you can’t...”
“I’m sorry, Vincent. You’ve done well.” With that he took a childe somewhere.



•Magic

“What is wrong Poppy?” Severus asked as he put down the nearly empty potion case.

“He is around three months pregnant Albus, Severus,” she answered, in almost panic.

“How is that possible? Only a potions master knows how to brew the male pregnancy potions as they are a guarded secret,” Severus wondered out loud.

“It looks natural, his body changed by its own magic creating the womb needed as well as an egg for conception. Albus a natural pregnancy like this hasn't happened in over 400 years,” Poppy explained, as she looked from the unconscious Harry to Albus' worried face.

.. Albus took out his wand and cast the spell 'Feto Freeze' on Harry. A bright red light shot out of the wand and flew to Harry, it entered Harry's abdomen and the bright light turned purple. It surrounded the area where the little baby was sleeping unaware of what is happening. The light got brighter, before fading into Harry. The young man continued to sleep on; unaware of what was happening to him and the life of his and Draco's unborn child.


Right, the Male Pregnancy Potions. They sell them in 40s right beside the King Cobra and the Pabst Blue Ribbon, so this happens a lot more than you’d think.



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