Miko’s plan to get past the demon Marxists, which she got from NinNin, leading to the question of whether she’s actually more of an idiot than the midget because she listens to him, is to crawl on some green spiky things attached to the ceiling so she and the little freak make their way over as the guards discuss politics. Some unidentifiable liquid (I suspect NinNin urinating defensively) drops onto the second one’s head, alerting him to the pair’s presence; Miko, ever the queen of stealth, yells “SHIT” as loud as she can and “accidentally” kicks NinNin down to the ground below, giving me some actual, honest-to-god respect for the idiot. “Sorry, NinNin,” she declares, “you’ll just have to escape on your own!” Hmm, maybe I judged the girl too harshly before. Oh, and also, the WORST MUSIC EVER starts playing here. Imagine farting sounds meant to sound FUNKIFIED and you’ll be close.
Back to Miyu and Kyomara’s sex antics; apparently, as she declares, he is “SO far into her,” and as he notes, the mix of various bodily fluids is “starting to overflow.” Fuck that, dude, you’re a tentacle demon, that should’ve happened like two seconds in.
This next part is the single most damning aspect of Miyu’s entire performance. Her next lines are, and I quote, “I’m so hot! I can’t control myself! More! More more more more MORE!” that's some brilliantly sparkling porn dialogue right there, yet she completely drops the ball with it. I’ve heard better faked eroticism in Herbal Essences commercials, girl, Crappy voice acting, however, has never been something that can stop
So knives fly through the air, tentacles get severed, and at least Kyomara has the sense to scream in mortal pain; unlike the monk who just kind of yelped in half-aware surprise. Miko appears, still in her undies, and declares, “Once you say that, you’re in his trap!” which sounds oddly funky when set against the horrible music. If she'd followed it up with “if the penis don’t fit, then you must acquit,” it would be just perfect; but actually she just kind of explains that the demons get stronger if the woman gives in. This isn’t arcane knowledge, folks: if I’m fucking a girl (let’s just assume this isn't a statistical impossibility) and she screams “More! MORE! YES! YEEEESSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111” then that’ll give me a second wind too, and as far as I know I don’t have any history of tentacle monster genealogy in my family.
Kyomara finally acknowledges the Miko/Miyu mixup (heh heh funny alliteration KILL ME), which is accompanied by the BEST CAMERA ANGLE EVER. Hellooo, Miko’s panties, I love you very, very much. Miko rips off Sailor Moon's schtick (just replace “power of the moon” with “power of the Mido family”) and declares how much ass she’s going to kick, but you know, I really doubt it; my bet’s on more vicious tentacle rape. And so, with a leap into the air and the flinging of what looks like several flaming movie reels that explode on impact, possibly symbolic of something, the battle begins. Now, since Miko’s ninja training mostly seemed to involve her dunking the cookie with her grandmother watching, I’m pretty much totally in the dark as to where she gained the ability to fling knives and explosives with adequate strength and accuracy, much less do that pubic hair shooting trick. I can only conclude that large amounts of masturbation can grant one superhuman abilities. THERE’S HOPE FOR US YET.
